The 20 Best Alcohol-Related Simpsons Quotes of All Time.

20.

[1F15] Bart Gets an Elephant

Homer: "Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get."


19.


[5F03] Bart Star


Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?

18.


[7G03] Homer's Odyssey

Homer: “Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... not even close.”

17.

[4F22] The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson

Barney: “Ah that's just drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk.”

http://www.hulu.com/watch/31924/the-simpsons-beautiful-drunk-talk#x-4,vclip,26

16.

[CABF04] Homer vs. Dignity

Lenny: “Wow, I never seen you have so many lunch beers before, Homer.”

15.

[KABF09] Papa Don't Leech

Royce Lumpkin: “I better whisky up these corn flakes.“

14.

[CABF17] Simpsons Tall Tales

Hobo: “And thanks to that little girl, today you can find applesin everything that's good: Apple wine, apple whiskey, apple schnapps, apple martinis, uh, Snapple with vodka in it, apple nail polish remover ...”

Lisa: “Don't forget apple sauce.”

Hobo: “Yeah ... I suppose you could grind some pills into it.”

13.

[CABF03] The Great Money Caper

Marge: “I'd like to visit that Long Island place ... if only it were real.”

12.

[5F18] Natural Born Kissers

Homer: “Well, this time I'm drunk on love... and beer. “

11.

[2F03] Treehouse of Horror V

Homer: “No TV and no beer make Homer something something”
Marge: “Go crazy?”
Homer: “Don't mind if I do.”

http://www.hulu.com/watch/20655/the-simpsons-no-tv-no-beer#x-4,vclip,37

10.

[8F13] Homer at the Bat

Umpire: “You can't leave first until you chug a beer, any man scoring has to chug a beer, you have to chug a beer at the top of all odd numbered innings. Oh and the fourth inning is the beer inning.”

Cheif Wiggum: “Hey, we know how to play softball.”
http://www.hulu.com/watch/34984/the-simpsons-softball-league-opening-day#x-4,vclip,74

9.

[BABF21] Treehouse of Horror XI

Lenny: Mmmm. Alcohol and night swimming. It's a winning combination!

8.

[4F19] Homer's Enemy

Lenny: He had three beers at lunch. That would make anybody sleepy

7.

[9F14] Duffless

Homer: Marge, I'm going to Moe's. Send the kids to the neighbors, I'm coming back loaded.

6.

[1F20] Secrets of a Successful Marriage

Homer: ”Remember when I took that home wine making course and I forgot how to drive? Marge: “That's because you were drunk!”

Homer: “And how.”

5.

[9F14] Duffless

Homer : When I was seventeen, I drank some very good beer, I drank some very good beer that I purchased with a fake ID, my name was Brian McGee, I stayed up listening to Queen. When I was seventeen.

4.

[8F16] Bart the Lover

Homer: "Maybe it's the beer talking Marge but you've got a butt that won't quit. They got these big chewy pretzels here . . . .^%&$`#^&*)$=(#beer&@~&. . . . .five dollars, get outta here."

3.

[5F23] The Joy of Sect

Homer: “Homer no function beer well without.”

2.


[9F14] Duffless


Homer: “Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator. They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and... um.. Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman”

1.

[4F15] Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment

Homer: “To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all life's problems. “