John Swartzwelder's Earth vs. Everybody (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Frank Burly)

In my mind there is no greater comedic mind alive (or dead) today than John Swartzwelder. For those of you who are not familiar, he is the writer of 59 Simpsons episodes (and worked on the Simpsons movie). Until I read his first novel "The Time Machine Did It", I had never literally laughed out loud while reading a book before. Swartzwelder is a writer's writer, perhaps even a writer's writer's writer.... perhaps. Well ol' Johnny S. has gone and written another Frank Burly epic entitled "Earth vs. Everybody" that is due to hit shelves, internet shelves, in the Spring of '09. I could not be more excited and this time I have to buy the autographed version that Kennydale Books puts up on Ebay.

As primitive and uninformative as their website is, Kennydale Books has an entire page listing all the Simpsons episodes that John penned. The list is a virtual who's who of awesome, classic Simpsons. You can check it out for yourself here: http://www.kennydalebooks.com/episodes.html, but I've decided to put my cut/paste feature to good use and illegally infringe on the copyright of Kennydale Books and any Kennydale Books subsidiaries by including it right here:


(7G05) BART THE GENERAL

(7G09 CALL OF THE SIMPSONS

(7G11) LIFE ON THE FAST LANE

(7G13) THE CREPES OF WRATH (with George Meyer, Sam Simon and Jon Vitti)

(7F04) TREEHOUSE OF HORROR I (Bad Dream House)

(7F01) TWO CARS IN EVERY GARAGE AND THREE EYES ON EVERY FISH (with Sam Simon)

(7F09) ITCHY AND SCRATCHY AND MARGE

(7F10) BART GETS HIT BY A CAR

(7F20) THE WAR OF THE SIMPSONS

(8F03) BART THE MURDERER

(8F02) TREEHOUSE OF HORROR II (The creature from the 4th grade)

(8F13) HOMER AT THE BAT

(8F17) DOG OF DEATH

(8F23) BROTHER, CAN YOU SPARE TWO DIMES?

(9F03) ITCHY AND SCRATCHY: THE MOVIE

(9F18) WHACKING DAY

(9F19) KRUSTY GETS KANCELLED

(1F01) ROSEBUD

(1F09) HOMER THE VIGILANTE

(1F11) BART GETS FAMOUS

(1F15) BART GETS AN ELEPHANT

(1F19) THE BOY WHO KNEW TOO MUCH

(2F01) ITCHY & SCRATCHY LAND

(2F09) HOMER THE GREAT

(2F11) BART'S COMET

(2F12) HOMIE THE CLOWN

(2F17) RADIOACTIVE MAN

(3F04) TREEHOUSE OF HORROR VI (Attack of the 50-foot eyesores)

(3F12) BART THE FINK (teleplay, story by Bob Kushell)

(3F14) HOMER THE SMITHERS

(3F16) THE DAY THE VIOLENCE DIED

(3F23) YOU ONLY MOVE TWICE

(4F10) MOUNTAIN OF MADNESS

(4F15) HOMER VS. THE EIGHTEENTH AMENDMENT

(4F17) THE OLD MAN AND THE LISA

(4F19) HOMER'S ENEMY

(5F01) THE CARTREIDGE FAMILY

(5F09) BART CARNY

(5F16) KING OF THE HILL

(5F21) THE WIZARD OF EVERGREEN TERRACE

(AABF04) HOMER SIMPSON IN: KIDNEY TROUBLE

(AABF09) HOMER TO THE MAX

(AAABF13) MAXIMUM HOMERDRIVE

(AABF17) MONTY CAN'T BUY ME LOVE

(BABF05) TAKE MY WIFE, SLEAZE

(BABF08) THE MANSION FAMILY

(BABF16) KILL THE ALLIGATOR AND RUN

(BABF20) A TALE OF TWO SPRINGFIELDS

(CABF02) THE COMPUTER WORE MENACE SHOES

(CABF09) HUNGRY, HUNGRY HOMER

(CABF13) SIMPSON SAFARI

(CABF18) A HUNKA HUNKA BURNS IN LOVE

(DABF07) THE LASTEST GUN IN THE WEST

(DABF13) I AM FURIOUS (YELLOW)

(DABF14) THE SWEETEST APU

(DABF16) THE FRYING GAME

(EABF09) MR. SPRITZ GOES TO WASHINGTON

(EABF21) TREEHOUSE OF HORROR XIV (entire episode)

(EABF22) THE REGINA MONOLOGUES

And "THE SIMPSONS MOVIE"