Why Living in Milwaukee Will Turn Me Into An Alcoholic and Ruin My Life

Here's an article I submitted to Collegehumor.com last year, but now that I've got my own blog I figured I would put it up here:

• The fact that it’s the middle of April and it snowed today makes me want to drink.
• I can’t attend a family function without being offered a PBR from all five of my uncles.
• There are 6 bars within walking distance of my house and will always be no matter where in the city I move.
• For some reason I can’t study for my Tuesday Calculus exam because my roommates think that the fact that it’s Monday is a good excuse to drink and play tragically loud music at 3 in the morning.
• Anyone who shows up to a party with either A) Bud Light or B) Coors Light will either be punched in the nuts or made fun of the rest of the night because even though all mass produced beer is essentially the same, all serious drinkers will tell you that Miller is the only socially acceptable beer to buy in the city.
• Summerfest is a two week long excuse to get drunk for two weeks straight. Oh and there’s music and junk.
• Despite the fact that Miller Brewing Company is about 100 yards away from Miller Park, a beer still costs 7 bucks.
• Thanks to the fact that everyone in Milwaukee is fat and gross, it doesn’t bother me that drinking ridiculous amounts of alcohol will one day make me fat and gross.
• I’ve been on every brewery tour within 100 miles of here.
• At the last martini party at the Milwaukee Art Museum, before they stopped having martini parties at the Milwaukee Art Museum, someone puked all over some art.
• After watching Beerfest, my roommates shrugged their shoulders and said “I guess that was a lot of beer”.
• The last 20 seasons of the Milwaukee Brewers.
• Even though my life-long dream is to become an astronaut, I know that I will eventually wind up working for Miller simply because Miller employees get a free case of beer every month.

Famous People From Milwaukee (According to Wikipedia)

Just came across a great list on Wikipedia of "famous" people who are from Milwaukee. Broken down into people born and raised, born but raised elsewhere, born elsewhere but raised here, and people who became synonymous with Milwaukee like Frederick Miller and Robin Yount.

Here's the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_from_Milwaukee%2C_Wisconsin

Et Tu, Brett?

I don't know about you, but I literally can't remember a time when Brett Favre wasn't the quarterback of the Green Bay Packers. I suppose that speaks to my youth, but it makes what happened today hurt that much more.

Just four months ago I watched Brett retire, with tears in his eyes. It was different than in years past, when there was doubt whether or not Favre would return. We were always hopeful, but understanding. But announcing his retirement seemed pretty concrete to me. It felt like a fitting end to an amazing career, we had gone to the NFC Championship game and had our best season in years. After the news stories died down the pain of losing the greatest quarterback the NFL has ever seen started to fade away.

Over the past few months there have been rumors here and there about how Brett wanted to come back and try once more to get back to the Superbowl, even telling David Letterman that once training camp rolled around "something would happen". I never gave much thought to these, if you followed Favre's career the way we do in Wisconsin you knew Favre wanted to come back... he'd would always want to come back... but rumors about coming back are one thing and announcing your retirement from the NFL is another.

Other sports greats have retired and wound up returning to the sport they love. Michael Jordan came back to the Bulls, then played for the Wizards for a while and eventually faded away. Reggie White, the second greatest Packer legend in recent years, returned to football several years after retiring, played for the Carolina Panthers and also faded away.

For some reason I took Brett's word for it when he told us he was done, that it was over, that I would finally know what it's like not to have Brett Favre start every single game for the Green Bay Packers. Last season was the greatest we've had since going to the Superbowl, plus he broke pretty much every single quarterback record there is. What more does he want? Asking to be released from the Packers feels like being stabbed in the back by your best friend, when you least expected it. Favre always seemed different, like he would never do something like this to Green Bay and it's fans. Reading Tom Silverstein of Jsonline.com's article about today's events, something stood out, something I never expected from Favre:

"According to ESPN.com, which has become the medium through which Favre and his agent most often reveal their intentions, Cook's letter to the Packers suggested that the Packers owed it to Favre to release him so he could sign with the team of his choice." - Tom Silverstein

He's half right, the Packers do owe Favre for his years of leadership and our first Superbowl victory in 30 years. But to expect us to simply release him of his contract so he can play for whichever one of our competitors he wants is ridiculous. If Brett wanted to play football next year we would have taken him back with open arms, just not after four months of "retirement". The Packers should get as much as they can for Favre to make the team even better next year.

I never thought I would say this about Brett Favre, but good riddance.